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A Daydream Within a Daydream by ~castaway:iconcastaway:





A Daydream Within a Dream

A thunderclap within the darkness of mine eyes
Split in two with light the tumultuous skies
Cleaving the heaving heavens into armies that stood
So deathly silent and still so that there could
From the heavens descend, through their quivering ranks
A regal visage, shaped it seemed from their rolling banks.

Descend she did, and dark was her pallor
And pride it seemed was her mark of valor
So loftily was held her radiant chin
And so elegant her hands so gently thin
That mine eyes were held firmly entranced
Whilst the earth itself for her sang and danced.

Gently – oh so gently! – her feet did softly sink
Into the velvet grass whereupon I did think
That my hideous mind cruelly deceived me
And that never could my fingers reach thee
Thou phantom that in the midst of a raging storm
upon this lonesome hill had taken thy form.

Of a rare beauty that far out weighted mine
She gazed softly at me, so that I did pine
To let flow through the valleys of mine fingers
Her midnight liquid locks that should teasing linger
And to caress forever within my longing hands
Her face that with laughter mysteriously danced.

But listen! – hear the silence that nature doth don!
It steps the tedious step of the gentle fawn.
Look! – see the hand of the mystery lady!
It embraces my face as that of a new-born baby.
Feel! – feel the energy that doth shimmer and lace
A ribbon that dances before my awe-struck face.

With a feeble motion her lips of crimson do part
So that through them shall blow a breath of the heart
A breath so that her voice of dark crystal doth say
“Thou shouldst know that I deeply love thee today,
today thou art mine to have and to hold
together today we shall live and be bold.”

A fire so fiercely burning kindled my breast
And the words I would say burst forth from my chest
“Say it is true oh thou woman of mystery!
Say it is true and forever shall I love thee
A miracle it seems that thou hast so chosen
A petty dreamer whose dim heart was yet frozen.”

“Come” said she, pondering not my pitiful words
“let us dance with fire now ‘midst the paths of the birds
like demons of dance we shall set blaze to the sky
so quick shall be our step, till the red sun doth die,
then we shall lie upon a soft bed of the earth
and gaze at the stars that shall dance with our mirth.”

“Come” whispered she, giving to me her velvet hand
“there is not much time before it crosses the land
its sinewy heads into each cave and wood
driving out any lingering light that could
threaten its foul and wearisome purpose
the spirit of darkness that whispers so close.”

Passion-filled then, we leapt ‘midst the waving grass
Fire in our eyes and our hearts, and so we passed
Amongst hills and vales and sprang into the clouds
Which with fire we infected with great leaps and bounds
So that they burned bright with a bloody crimson
Whilst the sun clung fast to the shadow horizon.

Soon the great orb breathed its last and gently fell
And dominion, to the sound of a tolling bell
Was somberly given to the spirit of dark
Who wisped through the shadows and did joyfully hark
The dismal sound echoing time and again
Tolling and rolling through the waiting vales and dens.
©2003-2009 ~castaway
:iconcastaway:

Author's Comments

I wrote this a while ago, and did a little bit of polishing up today. I know that it is 'longer' than most poetry is these days, but personally speaking I believe that that's because in modernity we have lost much of what poetry is. This tells a story - A romantic (in the classical and emotional sense) story, yes, and therefore more suited to poetry, but still a story. Poetry is not often used in this capacity now, which is an unfortunate loss.
This is not complete as when I was writing it at one point I lost momentum and have not yet found the desire or abilities to finish it sufficiently.
Enjoy.

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconbruisedapple:
I didn't want to not comment, but I'm not saying anything intelligent, I can tell you that at the start.

You finally did something with the inspiration "Dream within a Dream" provided you. Well, I'm impressed. Even though you never actually read me (or recited as you did with Lio) the poem itself, you did talk about it enough. And though this is incomplete... it's very beautiful. You're very talented John. You always talk about so and so, and how they're great with words, but my God, you are too. It's so emotional. I'm really actually annoyed because it's sort of making me want to cry. That's because with your poetry, I always read it once all the way through, rather quickly, then come back a couple hours (or perhaps days) later and read it very carefully. And everytime... I don't know. Bah. It's probably the rhyming that got to me. You know how much I love it ;) (Wink)

--
~As I said before, I never repeat myself

That's right. You heard me.
:iconkrissie:
Ooo you are such a romantic :) (Smile) I can't even believe how well this is written, though, it's incredibly impressive. The form, the metaphors, the story - I love it. No, I'm not a sucker for romantic poetry, but this is just... wonderful. I can't even believe you don't have about 20 favs here :D (Big Grin) I'd love to see the finished version when you get to it.

+fav and that doesn't even do this poem justice.

--
+ thehungersite.com
+ suture | artists for charity | 2envision
:iconandsoitburns:
wow, another amazing one. this is by far the best poetry on DA, hell its the best ive ever read anywhere. great job again, love the descriptions and the use of more accurately descriptive words, if that makes any sense.

--
Mock guilt and welcome hell.
:iconunoticedheart:
wow... okay +fav... and i dont know of any words that would truly do it justice... i mean, you write so amazingly... i wish i could write this way... great peice... and i cant beleive you dont have more comments than this! i didnt really say anything of substance here... just cant come up with anything that would sound anwhere near intelligent next to this peice.
Julie~

--
Comment, to get comments.
Share your kindness, not your hate.
Love the art, before yourself.


he's the one who will stop time for you, so you can catch up to your own life.
:iconjolie-etoile:
the rhyming and meter make this such a classic piece...a story of desire and romance, of fate and dance....those are the best kinds of stories. fantastic job.

Details

May 11, 2003
24.8 KB
315×365

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